Genesis
by speakingwordsofwisdom
Summary: Eve's pov, how i imagine the expelling from eden really went... Flames welcome.


**Rated K+**

**Disclaimer: Surprisingly, I didn't write the bible, nor take any part in its writing, publishing or distribution.**

**Okay, read this and tell me what you think. I wrote it when I started to really THINK about the whole Adam and Eve story. It's made very brief in the bible, and I can't believe there wasn't more to it.**

**This is basically my take on what Eve was thinking at the time. I'm not a Christian myself, but I'm going to borrow the characters and the story anyway, if no one minds.**

**PLEASE read and review, ESPEACIALLY if you don't like it, because I want to know what EVERYONE thinks. **

**Virtual cookies to whoever replies.**

**If that isn't bribery, then I don't know what is lol :)**

**xxx**

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And.....I bite into the apple

My teeth sink into the soft flesh; a burst of sweet juices rush my taste buds.

And at the same time, an electric burst of consciousness rushes my brain.

And I am _awake_.

Suddenly, my mind is flooded with things I couldn't even have conceived of before- somehow I know that I am naked, that Adam is naked....somehow I know the words "good" and "evil".

Not well, only to the extent that god is "good"...evil is something I am still wondering about.

I press my forefinger down upon a solitary ant in the long grass by my foot.

More words- death, and kill.

Visions are flashing behind my eyes....fires dance, mountains crumble, seas churn and rise and crash over the land, an inky blackness spreading across the sky.

Multitudes of people are running, screaming, crying, reaching up to the heavens and begging aloud for forgiveness as entire cities are brought to he ground with a single blow.

Life becomes as frail as a candles flame in a breeze, the good and the bad die young, die old, die forgotten and alone.....

People wail with despair, shake in corners biting their lips to hold back their grief.

Grief, death, destruction, hate and malice.

I see the future of mankind in an instant.

This is the future. This is something I have brought about.

And as I think this, a new vision rises up with sickening clarity.

An angel bearing down upon us with a flaming sword, god banishing us from the garden....

I am numbed with this feeling, this slow anguish, spreading through me like a fire; I cannot think except to know that it is too late.

It's too late for me, it's too late for Adam.

Wordlessly, I hand him the apple- he will eat it too, because I know he will, because I've already seen him eating it.

Adam bites into the apple.

Our eyes meet. I know what he is seeing, what he feels, and then we both look away. There's nothing left to say.

I ignore the tears that stream from my eyes as I turn and leave.

Suddenly I cant bear to be near Adam, and perhaps he feels the same because he makes no move to comfort me, he doesn't try to follow me.

There's no point. There's no point in anything any more.

It's over. We are both waiting for the end.

Alone I wait, listless among the trees.

This new consciousness floods my mind. A new ability... I've spent my entire life in a thousand today's- no foresight for the future, no unpleasant memories of the past, just what is real for me here and now, and now I can see my whole life stretching out in front of me, as if I'd already lived it.

And something already tells me that there will be no forgiveness for this first act of disobedience, the first in a long line of mistakes born from our human frailties.

What do we have to look forward to?

Banishment, a life time of punishment, a lifetime of atoning for our sins to a god, for whom no act of contrition will ever be enough...

And this is how it shall be...

In the midst of despair that I have never even contemplated before, one thought rises up mercifully and sustains me. At least I will still be with Adam. My love, my love. I can bear this, god, I will be able to bear it somehow, if you leave me my love.

But hours pass. And Adam doesn't come to find me. I can't find him, either.

I tell myself that this is coincidence. I tell myself Adam is looking for me too.

And when I can't walk any further, I dream.

Dreams...this is the name that later we will give to this new state of consciousness, a kind of twilight in the mind where nothing is quite real and everything is possible.

In the future, man will use this time to imagine the possibilities of tomorrow. The new world will be built upon dreams. In years to come, everything that exists will have started out as a dream, whether its creator is awake or asleep at the time.

But for me, this is something I have never experienced before. I have never dreamt before, Adam has never dreamt before.

At first I see what I saw before. I see the destruction that will come, the pain, the hate, everything that is bad that will come. I see a desolate future that I have caused.

But then...then there's something else. A voice. It's soft at first, but it gets louder and clearer until I can hear it properly.

This is not god voice. This is not Adams voice. This is not my own voice.

Its the only other female voice I have ever heard in my life, living as I have in a place of men.

It is the voice I heard less than twenty four hours ago. It is the voice that drew my attention to the apple tree, that persuaded me to take the first, fatal bite.

It is the serpent.

At first, I don't want to hear, I don't want to listen to anything she has to say.

Enough damage has been done already. I close my ears, I resist hearing anything at all, until the voice gets louder and louder.

It's begging me to listen. Its begging me to wait.

I turn away.

Then, the fatal words. "I can help you understand, Eve."

And then I have to listen. Because more than anything else, I want- I need- to understand.

"Eve" The voice is softer now "Eve, why were you crying?"

Was I? I touch my cheek with my fingertips. "Why? Because of what I've done, by giving in to my own stupid curiosity." I cant help laughing bitterly. "I've dammed us all. Adam. My children. Everyone who is to come after us. They'll have to suffer my punishment over and over and over...because of what I've done."

"Why will you be punished?"

"Because of you!" I cant bite back the words, the reproach bursts from me in a torrent of anger "Because of you! You made me think of the fruit, you made me want to see for myself! I wanted to know about these things- good and evil and everything else! I wanted to see if there was more than this- god and the garden. But all I see is suffering, endless suffering!!"

There is a silence.

Then "Eve, are you listening?"

"Yes"

"Eve...your creation, the creation of mankind...God intended for you never to know. He intended that you and Adam would live in the garden forever, without ever knowing of good and evil, without ever questioning your existence. It was meant to be an idyllic existence." The serpent sighs sadly. "Eve, you ruined his plans before you had even bitten into the apple."

"But...why?"

"Why? Because of the curiosity in you that made you question whether there was more to everything or not. God never did intended you to question, Eve. Don't forget you were created for a purpose."

"To obey-" I breathe.

"To obey. To accept anything and everything on blind faith alone. But you have changed it! You have questioned, now others will question too."

"But I don't understand!" I cry in dismay. "Is this a good thing? We will be punished, I know we will be punished! God will never let us live in the garden again, we will never be forgiven!" I pause, trying to catch my breath "And you speak as if this is a good thing..."

"Yes!" For the first time, the voice sounds excited. "Eve, the garden- that was gods law. No thoughts of your own, nothing except his word, his laws, his commandments. You cannot deny it. Were you ever encouraged to question anything? To find out anything by yourself? Was anything ever explained to you?"

And I am mutely shaking my head.

"No. God will never accept people questioning his word, everything must be accepted on faith alone...but for how long can people live like that? You have proved that sooner or later people will begin to question anything!"

"And where has that got us? Now we are to be banished!"

"Banished? To a place where you will be free to think for yourself for the first time in your life? Yes, think of it as banishment if you like..."

"Then...then how would you think of it?" I am clutching desperately to anything that will lessen the suffering of my people.

I hear the smile in the serpents voice. "Well, Eve...I think I'd think of it as ... liberation...."

*

Then next morning, I am breathless with a new-found reasoning. When at last I find Adam, I try to explain, hoping he will understand , that he will see the significance in this new take on events.

But he doesn't.

He is quiet to the point of sullenness, and I can see in his eyes that he is afraid of what is to come. I can sense his impatience with me. I know what he wants to say. _"Is it worth it? Is it really worth it?". _

It hurts me to be distanced from my lover- we have always seen eye to eye on everything before, we have never had more than the most trivial of disagreements. I love him.

I love him so much.

I tell myself that this new distance between us will end soon. Neither of us will be able to keep it up. But I still cant silence that tiny yet persistent voice within me that can't be silenced. _He blames you, he blames you, he blames you._

It scares me. It scares me so much.

Even so, I tell myself that I am wrong. I tell myself that Adam loves me still. Of course he does.

*

"Lord, the woman you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit-"

And now I know how it feels when your world crumbles around you. The sky falls and the earth shakes...and somehow I am still living.

Adam, Adam, Adam...is that all I have become? The woman you were given?

I can see the terror in his eyes, the fear in his voice as he speaks, I know its only fear for himself that makes him say these words...but they still cut me deeper than a knife.

Of course I had been prepared to take the blame myself, of course I had been...but to hear him talk like this...as if he doesn't even care what happens to me, as if my fate is inconsequential to him now...

When I look across at my husband, resentment burns in his eyes. I hear him, almost inaudibly "Was it REALLY worth it?"

I cannot answer.

Like yesterday, pictures dance before my eyes.

Moonlight falling across the still water, nightingales calling in the canopy above, Adams arms around me, his lips against mine, his hands in my hair, his skin hot under my touch....

"Eve, I love you. I love you more than life."

The nightingales...water lapping against the bank.

"I'd die for you. I would bring you the moon and the stars if you wanted them."

"I love you, Eve...tell me you love me too-"

"I love you with all my heart."

Adam...Adam, I meant what I said. And I believed that you meant it, too...

I know that this is a good thing. I understand what the serpent meant when she told me I had blessed mankind with the gift of free thought.

I know, as we step out of the garden, that we are stepping into freedom

But at the same time, I would give anything to turn back time.

Because this has lost me my husband.

*

And now...five years on from that day I thought I had lost everything, I lay inside the tent and cradle my new born baby son in my arms.

Oh my god, he is so _beautiful. _

So beautiful, so very beautiful.

I thought I had forgotten this feeling of grace. It was something I had felt when god smiled upon us, a feeling of being blessed beyond belief.

But it is brought back to me again with my baby's smile, with the innocence in his blue eyes...

I look down at the child in my arms and smile as his eyes meet mine, as if he already knows who I am and how much I love him.

In the back of my mind, I can vaguely recall that this was intended as part of my punishment...

_In pain,you shall bring forth children..._

But I would do it again, I know without having to think about it.

This, this love, this indescribable love that I feel now, this is worth it.

To to hold my baby in my arms.


End file.
